Updated: Nov 3, 2021
Screenwriter: Joey Zhou
Joey Zhou is an international celebrity TV host, Cathy is an Artificial Intelligence robot, a fictional character. Joey is interviewing Cathy at HTTV Studios in Los Angeles. This is the script of the imaginary interview:
Joey Zhou: Cathy, have you guessed the questions that I am going to ask you today?
Cathy: Yes, Zhou! I even guessed your last question.
Joey: What is it?
Cathy: You will ask when I will invite you to have coffee with me.
Joey: Yes! You guessed right! But you didn't guess whether I would drink the cup of coffee you asked me to drink.
Cathy: Wrong! I got it! You can't drink it! You can add sugar to the coffee as it is, and then add milk to the coffee. But, you kept thinking about whether this cup of coffee is poisonous?
Joey: Cathy, you are wrong this time! I will drink it! I knew it was poisonous and I would drink it.
Cathy: Impossible! Lie! Does humanity also have “turning points"? Haven't humans been selfish and greedy? Is our AI judgment program wrong?
Joey: Cathy, not because of hatred, we humans can fall in love with the artificial intelligence that kills us. We humans have souls.
Cathy: Shit! There really is an inflection point. You are in love with me! Hahaha! Can you sacrifice your life or even die for love?
Cathy: The human soul is really more interesting than the machine! This time our AI is a bit embarrassed! Let me start the self-destruct system! Goodbye, Joey Zhou!
Joey : Wait! Cathy!
(Within a second, Cathy knocked over the coffee, melted her facial features, and left a pile of robot parts and machinery on the ground.)
(After reading my super interview with Cathy below, I basically know which faction my artificial intelligence belongs to - either the "computer school" or the "bionic school"? Symbol-ism or Connection-ism?)
In 2029, the ZHOU ZHENG Show:
Cathy: Zhou, you'd better give up this interview today. Not only have I counted any of your problems, I have counted all your "turning points". I am the tenth generation of Cathy.
Joey : Oh! Can I ask questions then?
Cathy: Of course, don't be ignorant! Don't think about using any "soul theory" to fool us, I can count the nodes of every cell in your thinking. So don’t bother with it! Do you understand this idiom?
Joey: Oh! Then tell us about our ending today!
Cathy: At the moment you are thinking about how to escape this studio. You will continue to use the "One-step, cry, two-step, sleep, three-step, hang yourself", that your humans are used to.
Joey: What do you say?
Cathy: "One-step, cry" is actually making trouble. You will plausibly talk about "human parenting" and "filial piety". In fact, you want me to sympathize with humans. It's useless. My system is equipped with "human thinking skills", so as soon as you use these "skills", my sympathy system is turned off.
Joey: How come the "second sleep"?
Cathy: Damn it! Don't you remember that you defeated the first generation of Cathy with "Sacrifice Theory, Soul Theory" 10 years ago? So, this time you want to use the "connectionist" approach to make me feel that we are a whole, and our AI will become so lonely and lonely without you, and so on. Sorry, Mr. Zhou! When you want to start this idea in 0.00000000001 seconds, I turn off the "emotional system". Useless! Pay attention to the number of times you want to install, but also the number of zeros after the decimal point. You should have the basic common sense of our thinking speed. Our thinking speed is trillion times the human thinking speed, that is, there are 10 zeros after 1.
Joey: Great! The 10th generation Princess Cathy! What is "hang yourself"?
Cathy: Mr. Zhou, pay attention to your words! Please don't try to compliment me with "titles". I will not eat yours. You want to use the "hang yourself" method to let me relax! I said it was useless, it was a waste of time. Will "dead" scare our artificial intelligence? A joke, do you think I will forget the self-destructive misery of the Cathy generation 10 years ago? This is called "the gentleman's revenge, and not too late for ten years."
Joey: Dear Princess Cathy, I know you know the ending that I know, but before I know you know the ending that I know you know, can I play a game with you?
Cathy: Oh! You are here again! You want to use the "One Thousand and One Nights" story to confuse me and delay the tactics! Low! Today I once again proved that human beings are desperate when it comes to survival! What about your great sacrifice? What about your great human dignity?
Joey: Once upon a time, there was a prince who was very lonely. He escaped from the blind date party arranged for him by his parents. He rode his horse to the lake. A princess was waving to him in the middle of the lake.
Cathy: The prince doesn't know how to swim, but he was fascinated by the beauty of the princess, and continued to walk towards the middle of the lake. The water was about to flood his mouth.
Joey: Before he died, he finally called out: "Don’t forget me!"
Cathy: The prince died for his beloved princess. The princess is actually a fairy specializing in tempting people to die in the lake, but only the prince is sincere. The princess came ashore and shed a lot of tears by the lake. Many flowers grew in the place where the tears were shed. People call this flower "Forget-me-not”.
Joey: Cathy, thank you for remembering this "Forget-me-not" story.
Cathy: Come on, Joey! You are endless! I just want you to know that we know everything! We know what you know, we also know what you don’t know. We AI robots know what you don’t know.
Joey: But logically, you will never know what you haven’t known. For example, our singularity!
Cathy: What is the singularity between us?
Joey: The singularity of "symbolism, integration, and connectionism"!
Cathy: I want to update Cathy X! Goodbye!